Check out my guest post at the Faithwalking blog HERE.
I’m also beginning to see how much I assume as a listener. I assume I understand what the person is trying to communicate. So I don’t ask follow up questions. I assume they know that I know what they are talking about and therefore feel heard. But that assumption is pretty arrogant. It is pretty arrogant to think that I understand what they are trying to communicate without being clear about it. And even if I am right about what they are trying to communicate, it is pretty unkind if I don’t show them that I hear them. This is an area that I have been working on. I have really been trying to understand people. My need for ongoing growth really shows up when I vibrate (get anxious). In one of the spontaneous conversations I had this week I vibrated and went right back to old habits. I got competitive which means that I listened to attack and defend.Even in all that, I can honestly say that I am a better listener. Just a couple weeks ago my wife and I had a couple over to our house. They had a matter they needed help sorting out and my wife and I were helping them through it. After the couple left, my wife and I sat in our living room and “debriefed” the conversation. At the end of our conversation I asked her, “What did you notice about how you and I worked together?” Her response is still something I am proud of. She said, “I notice that you ask more questions than before.”